Day 31

I had this great idea to start a blog of my relocation to Mazatlán Mexico. I needed a place to put my thoughts and feelings and an outlet for my journey. Good, bad or mediocre I am going to write until I don’t feel like it’s necessary anymore.

I just started writing today (day 31) because I was so unsure of what I was feeling since I got here. I am on a crazy language learning curve, a culture shock, an economic adjustment and I am missing everything I had at home but mostly my girls. I didn’t know whether I was ‘homesick’ or just not feeling like Mazatlán is home. I am still somewhere in between. Hopefully this blog will help me figure that out.

Monday December 15, 2024, we told our employees we were closing our doors. They would be unemployed, and we would be losing everything we built over the last 14 years. Out of 67 employees, only 4 felt our pain and wished us well. The team closest to us felt betrayed and screwed over. It was heartbreaking. In fact, since losing everything meant losing everything, their feelings that we ‘did this to them’ was especially painful. My family included. My father and Geri felt as though we are lying and running from the law by coming down here. Somehow that view feels incredibly racist to me.

We have since figured out that my father and his wife would rather have us suffer in MD with no jobs and no way to keep the house or our cars, than to live comfortably in Mexico. Maybe they wanted to see us pay for our mistakes even though the closing of our company (PositivePsyche.Biz Corp) was not because we mismanaged anything but because the federal government never came though on the contracts they had already awarded us. We did all we could to save what we loved and cherished. The ship sank. It had a small leak that blew wide open on rough seas on December 15, 2024.

I am not sure I have cried more in my life. The pain of uncertainty and the grief of loss was unbearable. After 31 days here, I realized what I already knew, that I am in a growth spurt. Growth only happens when you are challenged and living a reality outside of your comfort zone. I just wonder how long, I will be uncomfortable.